It was not easy with growing concerns about her life, her kid’s life and her career. She was helpless, and she knew she is in a sinking ship and she tried to be brave. She never knew her life is going to be twisted. whenever she tries to untie one, it choked her with some other knot. A 23 year old girl who was stranded in her life and no one to look up to might be the worst thing to ever go wrong. All her life she felt like an invisible person. All she remembers is a vacuum filled with void, through out her life. She filled those emptiness with her books. By the time she finished her college she had zero friends in reality but thousands of friends literally. And she forgot her pain diving into those characters.
During her college days she became independent and started working long hours, even when the pay is not good, she never hesitated to do any job. Ann became a star in her job by her dedication and her hardwork. She believed that excuses are for losers and all she wanted is to win. So she kept her eyes on the price and worked towards it. She spent most of her time in libraries even when the kids of her age were happy partying, dating and having fun with their life. She didn’t realize she was just surviving but not living, by the time she realized that, the time is long gone.
And to this perfect mode of surviving she lost track when she was forced to get married. She was not given any choice with whatever happened to her life and now she is in the midst of sufferings which she doesn’t want to blame anyone. She wanted to be a powerful person, but instead she was told girls are supposed to marry not to make history, even when she had a long history of making her parents proud and being obedient.
She prepared herself for her final year Master’s exam alone and along with her depression. During the nights she cried and during the days she prepared for her exams. She hid her pain from everyone and became quite. Once she finished her exams she decided she is not going to shed another drop of tear to people around her and she realized they don’t deserved her and she reminded herself that nobody is worthy of her and Ann started building her up back from scratch on that thought. She believed in herself and she knew one day she is going to take control of her life back and enjoy it.
There is a saying, ” when life gives you lemon make lemonade”. She harnessed her depression and pain into her shield. She believed that if she can turn all these things away she would have done it, but unfortunately that is not how time works. She locked her emotions, feelings and everything which made her human go away so that she never needs to get hurt. She started molding her in way that she doesn’t have to answer to anyone unless it is really necessary and she slowly started becoming a rebel inside her family. She pierced her ear for the third time and made everyone furious, because people in her family thought that only prostitutes wore many piercings. But the truth is she was still hurt inside and she didn’t know how to remind her body the lesson she learnt. So she kept on piercing her ears and nose until one day she pierced it to remember something happy.
When everything was getting slowly on track she never thought she might fall off again, yes and its true, she became sick. She realized the amount of pressure she holded on her body has started reacting back. But this time she is ready to fight whatever came her way. She decided not to lose, but gradually she started falling apart and to hide it she left her home alone, leaving her kid in her parents care. All they needed was a baby boy, their heir, their legacy to go on and they got it at the cost of Ann’s life.