Chapter 10

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Being women doesn’t make you a feminist and talking for women maybe its just a part but it is not the entire concept of being a feminist. Many including the guys Ann met understood the wrong concept of being a feminist. She always believed in her instincts and those instincts made her strong. Feel the vibe which is inside you and walk along the path you feel right. She remembered her dads advice, he gave her that advice when she was 17, but she remember it to the day. ” Your right might not be the right in everyone’s eyes and your wrong might not be wrong for people around you, whatever you do make sure you get convinced by the decisions you take when the day falls “. Whatever twisted her situation be it, she remembered that she doesn’t have to please everyone.

Everyday she wake up to a random person calling her phone and talking about the proposal. She is scared inside, but she put on a bold and strong façade and face it right ahead. She believed she is not meant to cry her entire life and she is not ready to waste it any further. She promised herself that she would work on her social skills and improve on her work. She met a guy named Nicks in the city, the proposal came via her father. But this time she made it very clear that until his background check is finished by Ann she won’t say anything to her parents. And if they proceed without her consent they will have to face the consequences by themselves.

His background check came clear. And she was happy for a while. But nothing stands for long. They started talking for long hours, she tried explaining what Ann is expecting from her second marriage and how badly she wanted it to be her right choice, and she needs some time to adjust to the reality of getting married. She is always enthusiastic to talk about future and how she expects her partner to support her career and her dreams. But guess what after a month of conversation he asked of how she feels about resigning her job in the city and finding a job in their home town to take care of his family, during when he will be flying to overseas chasing his dreams.

It took a while to accept what she heard, she worked her ass off just to be successful person, not to become a depended person again. She already told him about her dreams, how she wanted to be a role model for her kid and be an inspiration to everyone around her. She expected to treat her equally. She realized how much she has grown since her depression, her addictions. She cried day and night, slept on tear soaked pillows. Even when her inside was roaring and bursting off, she cried silently. She was burning like a candle, so much for being the obedient kid. So much for being punctual and being responsible. Ann couldn’t cry in front of her kid because it would make him ask more questions, which she is not ready to answer, because she doesn’t want to spoil the relationship with her son and she doesn’t want to be a frustrated mom. She doesn’t want to blame her kid for not fixing the problems with her life and not taking responsibility on how to fix the problems.

She knew he is a smart kid and when he grow up he will have hundreds of questions which are going to be hard for her to answer, and she knew no one around her is going to support her while answering those and nobody will take accountable for what they have done. She decided she never want to bring her kid to her when Ann was living in her mind chaos. With every proposal she meets she expected some one to understand that. Ann knew she wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for her kid, even when she was flooded with her problems and depression she always found a way to come out of it, without complaining, without whining, she covered it all up, because she never found someone with whom she can share her problems. With him she expected more, she thought he understood her. But she never realized he was taking her loneliness for granted.

Chapter 11