Don’t give up!

Photo by Thu00e1i Huu1ef3nh on

I always thought life is not perfect. But over some time, you would realize that life is meant to be perfect. like a cool breeze in the sea. We make it complicated with our own insecurities, our phobias, and our worst nightmares, and overthinking is just icing on the cake. Getting married again is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. It was the fastest one too. I was scared during the last week before getting married I didn’t know whether I wanted to do it again. All over again, getting married, getting depressed, sacrificing my dreams for someone I barely know. I didn’t know what to do. I was shivering when I was signing at the registrar’s office.

I didn’t know how this marriage is going to treat me. All I thought was the last time at least I saw the person physically, this time I haven’t met him face to face. I was horrified even by the thought of it. I was stressed like in my previous marriage. I didn’t know what I should do or whom to talk about my stress. I felt I was falling without a safety net. But everything got turned around since the day of the wedding. He was the perfect example of how great a man could be. I told him I needed time to adjust to the fact of getting married and he stood with me till I got adjusted to the reality that I am married. I told him about my worst scares and how I needed time to know him. Whenever he spoke about equality and treating me well, and making me comfortable, I thought this bliss is going to last only 1 to 3 months, that is what new marriages are about. But even after 500 days of living together, we had arguments, disagreements, but he never disrespected me.

When I got married to him I didn’t even know his second name, all I knew was he was working as an engineer and something with the map-making company as I would like to make fun of him. Still, now I don’t understand a word about his job when he describes it, but I always hum to whatever he says about his work so that I give him good company and he does the same when I talk about my music and my writing work. Till I was ready we never called each other husband or wife, we just made ourselves great partners, crime partners. And now, I would take the same risk again if I was given a chance to marry you again.

Second chances do make difference trust me when I say it. I never believed in second chances. Even when I have given up on something he would talk me out of it and ask me to try it again. Before getting married I thought of living only till 35 to 40. But being with him, made me realize life can be perfect as a cool breeze and it can be beautiful as a sunset and he makes me feel like living my life again and yes, I am not giving up on myself ever. One of my friends once told me, “life is not full of bed of roses if you are not getting the bed of roses at home, how can you expect it from someone else”. But now I am pretty sure it was wrong. Because you don’t need everyone to give you a bed of roses, you just need one person, and that is all you need.

Life is all about chances and opportunities. Trust me every time you might not be sure whether you are taking the right one, but how would you know whether you are doing it right unless you try something, by stepping out of your comfort shell. So give yourself a chance and don’t give up. He taught me life can be perfect, And I am finally home.

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